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We All Failed J.

por Orlando Figueiredo, em 03.05.21

J. died. J. would be 17 in a few days, on May 7, but he didn’t get there. It was suicide. J. could not see an alternative way and took his own life. Everything could have been different. All J. had to do was to support a few more months (years, perhaps, or weeks, maybe days or even hours only) and then he would have lived until his eighties or nineties or even one hundred, who can tell? With granddaughters and grandsons maybe grand granddaughters and grand grandsons (biological or not, who cares? Only stupid people do!) to whom J. could tell his teen adventures and teach how to overcome the bitterness of life.

But it was not possible. J. thought life was a burden too heavy to carry and decided to alleviate himself of it.

I was not acquainted with him, but we crossed a few times in the corridors. J. was always surrounded by friends (mainly girls, but also some boys). Sometimes with make-up on his eyes and lips. Other times (maybe a late wake up) just bare skin, but always truthful to himself, and… smiling. If it came that our eyes would meet, I would smile (in approval and acceptance), not always with reciprocity.

Maybe I shouldn´t, even if I often smile to students while walking the corridors. Maybe he didn’t want to be noticed and thought that my smile was not as genuine and truthful as it really was. Maybe all he wanted was just to pass by with his green lipstick covered lips and the make-up on his eyes and be allowed just to be, like everybody else that didn’t put lipstick or make-up on his eyes.

Maybe not being noticed was all that he wanted. But that didn’t happen, and, who knows, if that wasn’t the reason why life was a burden too heavy to carry for such a young person?

That’s why WE ALL FAILED J. It’s not a matter of guilt (that would be too small, too narrow, to describe the intricacy of human life). It’s a matter of how things are and how things should be. It’s a matter of why can’t we just let people BE?!

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publicado às 22:49


2 comentários

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Inês Reis a 04.05.2021

"It gets better." But until then, we need to do better. 
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Orlando Figueiredo a 07.05.2021

You're right...
Meanwhile... it cost us the lives of young people.

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